Let me start with an apology, because I know this post is going to be a bit of a downer. I was in a weird mood yesterday morning, and this post can be considered a vent, a rant, an out pour. The day started off OK but soon turned into a uncomfortable mixture of boredom, the frustration of being stuck in a rut, asking and answering of the same questions of what to make for lunch, when we were going out to buy groceries, and what movies to watch over the weekend. I usually don’t go into such pits, but today was just odd…as the day passed, the mood lightened a bit but it was lingering even I started writing this at 11 PM.
I don’t know if this happens to any of you, but when I am in such a mood my usual remedies become slower: favorite songs don’t perk me up as much, cooking feels like a chore, and my concentration wavers all over the place. The only things that seem to help are sitting silently and concentrating on deep breathing or sipping on some hot coffee. Being down in the dumps affects people I interact with too, especially Mr. P. I have noticed that these moods can be contagious, when one I am down, it automatically brings him down too and vice versa… and I don’t like that. The long silences that ensue are dense… but then, I consciously try and stay quiet because I know my responses can be caustic. Anyway, this venting seems to be helping a bit… my head’s clearing up and I can think more clearly now.
It is on such days that I think of mindfulness… a term I became familiar with a few years ago. Mindfulness is a “mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.” I understand it in theory, but find it difficult to practice. I am also conscious of the fact that the present moment is the only thing that really matters, the past cannot be changed, the future is unknown. It sounds super simple and logical, doesn’t it? But I have realized that many of us, including me end up either dwelling in the past, holding on to grudges, worrying about a future we don’t know exists…and very often forgetting to enjoy the present.
Today is a new day, a fresh start and I am feeling much better! After yesterday’s experience, I have decided to try and become more mindful, in everything I do. The rut is what is getting to me, so maybe that’s what I should break first… I should probably use this opportunity to change my routine up a bit. What should I do? Any suggestions are welcome!
As my first step, I think I will get my derailed reading habit back on track. I know that books have the ability to keep the mind occupied and I guess it is time to put them to good use. I might also get back to my cooking experiments, which have literally been put on the back burner for over a year now. I called cooking therapeutic in my previous post, then I should be using that therapy for myself too no? Let me try these out, I have a feeling that these little steps will be very beneficial.
Until I write again, stay well and stay sane!